Thursday, March 22, 2007

Calimari take two

Are giant squid real?
Yes. More real than you can possibly imagine. Or at least as real. We are real.

Are giant squid the biggest animals alive?
Alas no, we are not even the biggest of the squid. Our brethren, the colossal squid hold that title. But at up to 13m (44 ft) in length I think you will agree we are pretty large. And we have 3 foot long penises. The males, that is. Really, we do.

Is it true that giant squids are the most graceful, powerful and yet mysterious of god's creatures?
That is correct.

What do giant squid eat?
We eat fish and smaller squid. Since ascending to the surface, I have developed a fondness for oreos, banana sandwiches and enchiladas.

How do you connect to a computer?
I have a specially-modified tentacle-friendly interface, which I refer to as my squinterface

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