Dietary advice

photo Via grouchyoldcrippleblog

Diet excuses:

	But the doughnut was calling my name.
	But it was my birthday, so I had to eat the whole cake.
	I had to get the bitter taste out of my mouth from eating the so-called dish, so I had an ice cream.
	If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
	If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
	If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
	Cookie pieces contain no fat -- the process of breaking causes fat leakage.
	Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.
	Only eat things that have been broken into pieces; that way, all the calories fall out.
	Chocolate is a vegetable. How, you ask? Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.