I, SHEIK OSAMA BIN LADEN, heed the Almighty’s words, yada, yada, I warn all unholy evil doers, etc., etc. that they are fated to die (?) are dead meat (?) toast (?) doomed! Doomed sounds better. Good boilerplate intro for suicide bomber tapes, mujahid rallies, beheading ceremonies and the like.
SOUNDBITES: (For Arab media) Ye who believe, take not the Jews and the Christians for your friends and protectors. They will sell you out (?) screw you (?) throw you under the bus (?) betray you. Betray sounds best.
(For U.S. lamestream media) The Jewish-Crusader alliance’s accusations that I distort the teachings of the Book are in the category of “accusing others with their own affliction in order to fool the masses.” Quotable, but may sound too Chinese. Need something more westernized.
How about, “Ask not what Islam can do for you, but what you can do…” No. I have a feeling that’s been said before. Okay. Here’s one: “Muslims, don’t retreat. Reload. Wee wee up!” It has a Sarah Palin-like appeal to the undereducated. Could work. ...
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