My husband had to lie in state for a week, waiting for his daughter to buy a ticket (she finally did 4 days after his death).
The relatives wanted oodles of flowers and fancy lights that cost us a bunch, and criticized my daughter in law for not arranging a fancy enough wake, but at least they spent time watching with the family. A certain person hardly showed his face.
The money from Lolo's pension was given to a certain person to pay for his coffin, and later I found that it had been diverted to construction/farm expenses. So my daughter in law sold rice to pay for it. I had to go into my savings to pay for the plot. A certain person did not offer to help pay for these things.
A second daughter wants to hear what she has in the will (A small amount of money and a plot in a tourist area to build a house or to sell). Alas, a certain person tapped into the savings account that was supposed to be given to the daughters for the farm, at first because of the typhoon damaging the crop, but three crops later it is still not paid back, so we don't know how this will be settled.
Then last night, our first daughter, who is an artist, arranged an art class for the kids in the early evening. They had some background music for this...I didn't go (I am tired and depressed) but at midnight I woke up to hear loud music from our roof...a party was going on attended, I presume, by my husband's three children.
I shouted for them to stop, and when they didn't, tried to turn off the electricity (there must be a second fuse box because it didn't work) and finally climbed three stories so I could shout to the 4th story roof that they needed to stop making noise.
Not only did this shame us in front of the neighbors/relatives who live nearby (partying the day after the funeral) but it is Holy Thursday, when Catholics traditionally visit churches, and in our rural area, put up small chapels to chant the passyon (the nearest is a block away). I mean, even the Restobar across the street and the gambling den/suspected drug seller's party house up the street are closed and dark.
So now I am sitting angry in my room, after venting my anger at my daughter in law, who wasn't the one behind the party.
Ah, family love.
update: I should add that we had a premarital agreement so I get nothing in the will...and under Filipino law I cannot own land or the house, although his will states that the house part of the compound where we live cannot be sold without my permission.
Luckily, I am now old enough for social security.