Monday, October 02, 2006

Ten ways Osama can become more popular

10. Release all videotaped messages in high-definition

9. Claim responsibility for terrorist attack on Suge Knight's Leg

8. Start a daily beard care blog

7. No more five-week vacations to his ranch in Islamabad

6. Make April 27th "take your goat to work day"

5. Guest star on an episode of "Will & Grace" as Jack's new hottie boyfriend Todd

4. Offer employee pricing on all 2005 camels

3. Come up with signature catchphrase such as "oh, for the love of hummus!"

2. Go on Oprah and bravely discuss battle with low self-esteem

1. Die

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