Test for Senility

>Your Yearly Dementia Test
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>It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test.
>Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As
>we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't
>use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss
>or non-loss of intelligence.
>Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or
>not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've
>made your answer.
>OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
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>1. What do you put in a toaster?
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>Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something
else.
>Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.
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>2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?
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>Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," don't attempt the next
>question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content
>yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto
>World. However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.
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>3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made
>from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a
>black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made
from?
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>Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks,"
>why are you still reading these???
>If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.
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>4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over
>Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically
>divided into West Germany and East Germany ) Anyway, during the
>flight, two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last
>remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing
>procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and
>the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land"
>between East Germany and West Germany . Where would you bury the
>survivors? East Germany , West Germany , or no man's land"?
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>Answer: You don't bury survivors.
>If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. I f you
>said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.
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>5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to
>Milford Haven in Wales . In London , 17 people get on the bus. In
>Reading , six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In
>Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff , 11 people
>get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , three people get off and
>five people get on In Carmathen, six pe ople get off and three get
>on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.
>What was the name of the bus driver?
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>Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
>Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!
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