Headlines below the fold

About half of influenza cases are the new swine flu...but why are the kids getting sick? Did adults have it earliers and are resistent?

----------------------

86,000 people a year seek medical help in emergency rooms, "five times the number of emergency room visits caused by unintentional gunshots".
Call the NRA!
Whoops, call the SPCA...because the injuries are from tripping over Fluffy...or Fido...
----------------------------

Yes, Dan Brown is anti Catholic and the NYTimes editorial says Brown likes dumb Catholics anyway.

------------------

Is your kid spending too much time playing video games?
Well, it's valuable training...
--------------

Nearly everyone missed it, but in his NotreDame speech, the president said he was planning to recraft the "conscience" clause for medical workers to make it more "scientific" and "ethical".

You see, with the promotion of the "morning after" pill, certain "scientists" and "ethicists" are now claiming that life begins at implantation of the embryo, so that early abortion is now called "contraception".

It's like the old saying: If you call a tail a leg, how many legs does a dog have?
Answer: Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it so...