Monday, January 11, 2010

Quotes below the fold

About 100,000 tropical fish being raised on a fish farm in South Florida couldn't bear the cold temperatures Sunday.

Altogether now:Al Gore Lied, and Guppies Died.


Class, discuss: Oliver Stone plans to put Hitler and Stalin in Context.

Yes, and next week we'll discuss Ghengas Khan and Attila the Hun's gentler side.


It's now official: Barbara Ehrenlich says Positive thinking is making us miserable.


Guess who said this?

Our president... applied the freshness of his independent thought to the critical matters at hand. He had convened his seminar, reviewed the reviews, analyzed the intelligence every which way, thought anew about everything, and lo and behold, he finally emerged to tell us some stuff we already knew.

We are under attack.

There is evil in the world...

Our airports are not safe.

Metal detectors can’t detect nonmetal explosives sewn into underwear.

Our incomplete no-fly lists are more like “Welcome aboard” lists.

We still can’t connect the dots, even when the dots are flying at us like 3-D asteroids...


In the past, we dressed up before flying. Nowadays, a Philippine columnist advises you to travel in casual clothing before you enter the gulag of flying.

2Dress down. I mean, show as much skin as your sense of decency would allow, hoping screeners would get a clue that you’re not hiding anything explosive. I’m talking garter or drawstring shorts, T-shirts (some actually wear camiseta), slippers (preferably flip-flops), which are easier to shed because for some mystical reason, the screeners ask you to take them off anyway even if they see your feet.

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