Oh No! Not TWINKIES!

thanks to Michelle Obama's war on good food that kids like to eat, the news today reports that: Hostess cakes is going bankrupt.

so for those not living in the USA, what is a twinkie? From the Urban Dictionary:

2.	twinkie
	a tasty cream filled pastry made from god-knows-what; known to have a shelf life of forever; if there was a nuclear war the only things to survive would be twinkies and cockroaches twinkies: FOOD OF THE GODS!!!!!

Twinkies and other junk food is so full of chemical preservatives that they last forever. In the US, this is considered a problem, but here in the Philippines it means we won't die of food poisoning.

so this wit claims that since twinkies last forever, they are the key to eternal youth:

We all know that a Twinkie will last forever. The key to it's eternal being is in the special longevity preservatives that are found in it's cream filling. Much like how vitamins build up in your body if you take them everyday, if you eat Twinkies everyday the longevity preservatives will build up. If you get enough longevity preservative built up you can prolong your life, and if maintaining a continual consumption you could in theory live forever.

Recommended Consumption:

Based on preliminary testing, the recommended consumption is about two boxes of Twinkies per day. That's around twenty little golden delights every 24 hours....

So how long does a twinkie actually last? From Snopes:

Twinkies have a shelf life oftwenty-five days, not seven years, and certainly not fifty years. Even so, twenty-five days is an unusually long time for a baked product to stay fresh. The secret to Twinkies' longevity is their lack of dairy ingredients: because dairy products are not part of the formula, Twinkies spoil much more slowly than other bakery items...

According to Hostess, it takes forty-five seconds to explode a Twinkie in a microwave.

video here

and they are indestructable.


Final caution: Don't call an Asian a "twinkie". It is an insult.