If you give me your attention,
I will tell you what I am:
I'm a genuine philanthropist—
all other kinds are sham.
Each little fault of temper
and each social defect
In my erring fellow creatures,
I endeavor to correct.
To all their little weaknesses
I open people's eyes
And little plans to snub
the self-sufficient I devise;
I love my fellow creatures—
I do all the good I can—
Yet everybody say
I'm such a disagreeable man!
And I can't think why!
WS Gilbert.
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