the weather is cool, and it is the best time of the year to visit the Philippines: no typhoons, no very hot weather, etc.
Kuya is worried about his mother, who is in a senior housing facility in the USA, but has deteriorated enough that she can't care for herself and will have to transfer to a nursing home. Alas, she doesn't want to give up her home and all her possessions/hobby supplies inside, but she also is unable to live alone, let alone keep the place clean. So it is a matter of getting her to agree to be cared for by family or else the local senior protective services will intervene and take over her care by calling her incompetent and force her into a nursing home, sell her home to pay the bills and then move her to a facility that takes care of the indigent.....
she is not senile, just stubborn, sigh.
Her daughter lives a couple hours drive away, but her house is not wheel chair friendly, (split level house) and everyone in the family tends to be away on and off on trips that often last days or weeks so there would not be anyone to keep an eye on her unless they hired a full time caregiver, which is very expensive.
We have frequently suggested she move here where we have a wheel chair friendly house (used by my husband after he got sick) and help is cheap:
we can hire caregivers and keep an eye on her, but she has always said no... It's not that she dislikes the Philippines: she has lived here in the past, both with her ex husband and in Manila her son was in college here, so she knows the language and culture. But she loves to be independent, and tends to quarrel with those who want to help her. A common problem with the elderly.
We were hoping to arrange her to move here two years ago, when she was still independent and could walk but was having trouble cleaning herself and the house, but she said no using the excuse of poor medical care here (not true, but it is true that Medicare won't pay for it here, so you have to pay for it yourself, but the care level is okay and of course specialty care in Manila is up to US standards).
She then said she didn't like our cook's cooking because she is dirty. Duh. True...
But the real reasons is that the cook is a gossip, and she doesn't like stories of her going around to the relatives of her ex husband who she hates.
She also likes western style food, which was not available here until about five years ago when the Philippines started becoming prosperous.
but the real reason is that she wanted to remain independent in her own home with her own "stuff".
All of these arguments became moot once the virus hit... so after hospitalization for her latest minor problem she was transferred to independent living facility to recover long term, as she had done in the past, but unlike the past, this time she can't go home because she is too weak.
Luckily, the virus didn't hit their facility and she has gotten one shot so our fingers are crossed until the second shot is given and starts to work.
Ah, but with the virus, even if she agrees to come, travel is restricted, and so it means not only coping with immigration but with the numerous travel restrictions that change constantly.
The best scenerio would be for her son to bring here here, but since he is low risk and the vaccine hasn't started being given out in our low risk area, so Kuya can't go there and accompany her here. The alternative is to have our granddaughter accompany her in the plane: But our granddaughter is about five foot tall and 100 pounds, and Grandmom is 300 pounds. We had hoped our other granddaughter, a nurse, could help but alas she might not be able to get off since she is so busy with the virus epidemic in her rural hospital. And the 24 hour trip is daunting to anyone, let alone an incontinent elder who has trouble walking to the ladies' room.
Sigh.
Here she could live in my husband's room, which is wheelchair friendly, and I'd move to one of the other bedrooms. The maid could help with day time care, and if needed, a caregiver could sleep in the spare bedroom that we are now using as storage room, as one did when Lolo was sick.
Joy and her business office could move upstairs to the rooms there: It is fixed up for a BNB and we would rent rooms out to visitors at times, but then the virus hit so there goes that investment.
It would be awkward for me, since I am wifey number two, but hey, they divorced years before I met my husband, and as a doctor I tend to have a thick skin to insults and manipulation, so no problem there.
But the big problem: We need our dogs for protection so they sleep in the house, (actually two of them in my bedroom) so that may cause a problem. Luckily, unlike George, our cat killing Labrador, the present batch of dogs don't bite visitors, but it could be a problem if she dislikes dogs (and cats... we have lots of outdoor cats that keep the mice population down).
Oh well: one day at a time.
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