American disrespect vs Mano Po

 What is it with these folks?

I am trying to work with Massachusetts govt about a private matter, and I got an email asking me to verify my address (which I had done on the form I sent them).

And voila, when I opened the email sending me the form to officially change my address, the writer addressed me by my first name only.

So when I answered the letter, I blasted him for calling me by my first name only.

This is a PC guy who added his personal pronouns to his letter, expecting me to use them out of respect, but on the other hand, he doesn't have enough respect to address me by my formal name, which I interpreted as a form of disrespect.

I am old enough to be a great grandmother. More importantly, I  became a physician before women's lib, and had to fight to be respected. 

I am old enough to remember when you called elders using their title and/or their full name, as a sign of respect. 

Calling an elder by their first name is a sign that you consider your customer a child: it implies you are talking down to them and maybe planning to manipulate them.

We docs are taught to be culturally sensitive, and this includes being sensitive and not calling our elderly patients by their first name unless they gave us permission to do so. Because it implies they are children. 

And that is why I got angry, sent the guy back an angry email, and just for good meadure, sent a letter to the editor of his local newspaper protesting that state employees are being disrespectful by allowing this practice.

This is not the first business letter I have gotten from the USA that did the same thing. Nor is this the first time I blasted someone for disrespect.

What is going on?

it's part of a culture where everyone is on an equal footing, so no respect for those who are older, for those with authority, or for those whose long years of study entitles them to be called by an honorific like Doctor.

Sigh.

I've been watching too many Korean Dramas. 

In Korean, like in many languages, you address people differently if they rank above you or below you: So a younger person who addresses an older person the wrong way is often corrected by the older person in Korean dramas.

and the use of "honorifics" is a way to show respect.

But such respect is not only found in K dtamas or Chinese movies.

Here in the Philippines, there is a similar custom to use titles of respect to our elders.

When we have visitors, often they will greet me with "mano po", putting their hands to my forehead. An alternative is to prompt the child with the word "bless".

And just like in traditional American culture (e.g. politeness is still taught to children in the Southern USA) you use the equivalent of the word "Sir" or "Ma'am", by using the title "Po"' when you talk to an elder, an official, or one of your relatives who is older than you.