Death on the Nile: so why did she choose a dork over Russel Brand?

 The new version of Death on the Nile could have been great, but except for Kenneth Branagh and Gal Gadot (who lights up the screen in every scene she plays in), one simple doesn't care about any of the characters in it. 

 

I take that back: Sophie Okonedo has a nice scene, but even Russel Brand sort of morphs into a dork.

And that is the problem: it spends a lot of time making us listen to the lovely Sophie's singing but doesn't deliniate the characters around the murder so that it sort of makes you not care.

and where are all those lovely scenes of Egyptian ruins? And where are the eccentric characters? 

Now, the 1978 film was full of interesting characters, acted by known stars who played it to the hilt. True, it wasn't Agatha Christie, but who cared? It was fun.

 

But the new version doesn't have any bad overacting that made that version fun to watch. Indeed, except for a short scene with Sophie Okonedo it doesn't have much acting at all.

It does explain about Poirot's mustache and why he remains unmarried (to hide severe facial scars from a war injury, and his finace rejected him due to his severe scars).

But the backstories of the characters are quickly mentioned and then passed over, so if you didn't read the book you might be lost.

Actually, since they changed some of the characters, and left others out completely, reading the book wouldn't help. 

 The embezzlement by the accountant is briefly mentioned. and the stolid German doctor was changed into a British doctor as the Lord who loved the dead lady and was planning to marry her, but was turned down when she eloped with Simon (who is nice and a bit nerdy, but not sexy. What did she see in him? Gal, you chose that nerd over Russel Brand? What were you thinking?)

and what is the nonsense about the jewel thief? this part of the plot was changed to a quick theft of the jewels by a young guy who thought he could sell the jewels so he could marry his girlfriend (never mind that the large yellow diamond would be easy to identify and hard to sell without proper contacts)

so why did he steal the necklace? because his mommy refused to approve of his marriage to the daughter of the black singer... uh, honey, did you ever hear of something called a "job" to support yourself instead of living off your mommy's money?

My advice: recut the film and add a little humor, and add some more in depth interviews like Poirot had with Sophie Okonedo so we could actually get to know the characters background and possible motivation to murder the poor little rich girl.

So I give the movie a 4 out of 5 stars.

As for the story: I suggest you watch the BBC version instead.