The family down the street is burying their grandson, a man in his late 30s who died of a heart attack, or maybe alcoholism. So all week the family has held the wake, meaning that the dogs, hearing people coming and going, keep barking to say: hey someone is here. So I haven't had a good nights sleep for a week.
The wake for middle class folk here is held in the home: usually in the parlor, where when you visit and say a prayer and then sit and are given a small snack to eat while you talk for about an hour before you go home.
But outside, they have tents for the men, who mainly are here at night, drinking and playing cards. (although this gentleman is Iglesia, so maybe no alcohol).
The wake usually lasts until the family arrives: In this case, his family from Japan who arrived a few days ago, and the last onne they were waiting for was the mother to arrive from London where she now lives.
Last night, they had singing and music (in this case, a professional singer with a small band), which is common. And today, they had the local band playing sad music, which will continue until they move to the church and then the cemetary, with most of the people walking behind the hearse. (about a mile).
the hearse is a large car, but sometimes they use a horse drawn hearse to carry the casket (the horses used to graze in the fields across the street, but now that houses have been build on those plots they only keep one horse in town and the rest on their farm).
Very sad.
After the person is buried, on the way home, you stop and eat, often at a restaurant (the idea is that the ghost who might follow you will get confused and not follow you home).
Most of the burials here are in concrete boxes above ground; due to the high water level...but some in the newer part of the cemetary are American style, underground with a small gravestone to make the place.
This is the older part of the cemetary, where Lolo's mother is buried;
Lolo's grave is here: sort of a small open house with a roof. He didn't want it to be closed in, but after vandalism and litter, we added a door and bars on the window.
Some of these houses are quite elaborate: with running water and a chapel. In Manila, some poor people (squatters) actually live in the cemetaries, often with permission from the family since the alternative is having everything stolen.
On November 1, when we commemorate our dead, everyone goes to the cemetary and cleans up the grave and lights candles and puts flowers on the grave. Then you stay for awhile and eat a snack. Usually there are vendors with water, soft drinks and snacks, and selling candles, and selling toy for the kids to play with so they don't get bored. It is not sad but like a family reunion picnic. Alcohol is forbidden by law to keep down the rowdiness.
Usually those living in Manila go back to their home towns to do this, although there are huge cemetaries in Manila.
Most people still are buried here, although in Manila they do cremations.
And for overseas deaths, it usually means cremation and bringing the ashes home.
For example, our niece just died in the USA, and they held the services there, with many of her family visiting for the funeral, and some stayed until the day 40 celebration, when you have the goodbye to the spirit. Since she wanted to be buried here, her sister brought her ashes back and they will hold a mass before they bury them in the plot with her brother.
the major mourning period lasts for 40 days.
I remember in the US, pre Vatican II, the family would attend a mass on the 40th day but it is not a big thing there.
But apparently this is a custom not just for Catholics but for other religions too.
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