Advice from Larry the Cable Guy

1. A day without sunshine is like... night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
15. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos.

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